"I'm the exception!" "You're MY exception."

Awww. So Lindsay and I saw He's Just Not That Into You this afternoon, and I can't think of a more perfect movie partner to have seen this with! We're always discussing our boy problems - many of which could be settled if we would just admit "he's just not that into me", but that would be FAR too easy! Like reading the book, seeing this new film version was equally as empowering. It made me feel better about finally loosing touch with the Art Director, and it made me re-evaluate current and recent situations. One thing that made both Lindsay and I laugh was the fact that the female characters in the movie all got what they wanted in the end! A bit misleading because I don't think that often happens (being the eternal optimist that I am).

As romantic and mushy the end of the movie was (see quote), I don't want to be anyone's exception. I don't want to be hurt and go through hell until the guy comes to his senses (I think that's what I was doing in the fall. Yeah, that worked out).

But like Ginnifer Goodwin's character, at least I'm putting myself out there and meeting people. If I were to just refuse to meet anyone, I'd end up like Justin Long's character would've.

I definitely recommend this movie, but NOT as a date movie! This is definitely a movie to go see with your girlfriends.

"Writing is a process...."

So yesterday, Saturday, Jason and I took in a matinee of the new musical, The Story of My Life, starring Will Chase and Malcolm Gets. In one sentence, it's a musical about an award-winning writer trying to write the perfect eulogy about his childhood best friend who has killed himself. It was different, original, touching, and entertaining. Both actors were extremely effective, with beautiful voices. The problem was, Gets looked MUCH older than Chase... which was confusing because they were supposed to be the same age. The set was a simple bookstore rolling ladder, podium, and book shelves on the wall. The show dragged in the middle, but it was then wrapped up perfectly and I feel as though you really got to know these two characters in the short 90 minutes that you have with them.

Jason enjoyed it too... yay! Jason and I spent the day hanging out again today, eating our way through midtown. First we went to Billy's Bakery, then onto Grumpy for some caffeine... after we ventured up to the 57th & 5th Avenue area for burgers (his from Burger Joint and mine from Pop Burger), and finally we ended up at Borders in Columbus Circle. I left soon after for dinner with my dad and brother who were in town for the Comic Con. Now I'm home and exhausted!

Tomorrow is my interview, and then seeing He's Just Not That Into You with Lindsay. Finally!

On the List of Things I Never Thought I'd Say

I find myself unable to trust men.

I think after the Art Director completely screwed with my head and lead me on in the fall - I am completely unable to take anything men say at face value. If a guy says something that should make me happy - I am literally unable to believe them. I assume they are saying it purely to manipulate my head and get into my pants quicker. If they tell me that they are romantic and a gentlemen - I interpret that as overcompensation and that they are full of it. Because who would come out and say that right away? I'm sick of men saying it instead of just showing it.

And after I sleep with someone - which usually happens too quickly - I shut down and can't allow myself to trust them anymore. I mean, all they want is sex, right? And they've gotten it, so.... why are they still calling? They want more sex, obviously. They don't actually care about seeing me.

What makes it worse is that I have very limited patience with men who don't show superfluous interest and aren't upfront about their intentions - which is ridiculous, but it's another fault of mine. A reader recently emailed me and we started talking, which led to him asking me numerous questions. This startled me. I immediately thought it was going to lead to some kind of mental manipulation, which led to me telling him I was done being interrogated - which he insisted was only getting to know me, but of course I can't believe anything he says - and I signed off. Shut down.

My date last night? It was very nice. He was a really sweet guy, and very, very cute but I don't think there was any spark. We want different things in life - he wants a big family, and I'm not even sure I want to get married. Why were these things talked about a first date? Who knows. Maybe that was a problem too. Maybe he was trying to scare me off, but I doubt it.

Basically, any time a guy asks me out, I immediately assume that they only want to sleep with me. That they'll say anything to accomplish that. It's awful, horrible, and disturbing. I'm trying to open my mind and myself up to new experiences, and I think it'll happen eventually (god, I hope), but it just takes work and I'm trying.

So, please, please, please be patient with me.

Sigh.

I'm out of a job again.

I improved on the things I was having issues with at least 98% and I was still let go today (as of last Friday, I was supposed to be re-evaluated NEXT Friday... I guess they just couldn't wait?). They looked equally as sad letting me go as I was being let go, and walked me out and did all but hug me before I left. They said they'd give me references or help me find another job - this confused me. If they could give me references and help me find a job - why were they letting me go? They said I wasn't a right "fit" for the job.

I've applied for around 20 jobs already. Does anyone know of anything? I'm willing to do just about anything.

men, honesty, casualties...

"You have a lot of negativity toward men, but you seem to have no problem letting them make all the decisions about your life. That doens't make sense."- Tim

I went on a very impromptu date with a very cute Columbia journalism grad student last night. We went to the Hungarian pastry shop on 111th and Amsterdam. It was nice, but I got weird vibes from him when he didn't text me the usual had-a-great-time text that I usually get. I texted him this morning and said, "I had a nice time last night but I don't want to wonder. Do you want to see me again?" and he texted me back a little while later saying, "Honestly? I don't see it working." I wrote back, "Thanks!" and I meant it. I should do that more often. It felt good to be blunt and get a direct answer.

It made me realize how much I hate dealing with men who aren't mature enough to say what they want, or ask what I want. I don't want a casual relationship - a fuck buddy, in lame mans' terms. I hate conversations that go nowhere. I have no desire to "hang out" with a guy - a lame cover up for a booty call - I'm at a point in my life where I've done enough of that (perhaps too much?) and I'm looking to get to know someone and date them.

My friend Tim, who said the above quote, is very right. I have such a bad outlook on men, ALL men, but yet I let them, basically, control me. It's awful. Well, that's over. Or at least I'll try harder. I'm sick of this rut that I've fallen in to since October... the whole let-men-lead-the-way mindset that I've been in. I feel like I had more luck when I was more assertive (honestly, could I have had less?).

I'll leave you all with this other pearl of wisdom that Tim directed towards me...

" It wouldn't hurt you to take some initiative and make some decisions about these relationships. You're 50-percent of it and you just wait for these moronic guys to decide what's going on..... You should assume more control and not wait for a guy to make a decision that will piss you off. If you recognize it's not working, don't wait for him to become a better person. It likely won't happen. Be more pro-active, instead of letting him dictate what happens in your life."

Sigh.

"Just so you know, you're speaking to a Greek Scorpio male. I have a Ph.D in emotional manipulation, and I know a player when I see one; and this guy is one." - Angelo

Every story, new or ancient...

So my stories have been pretty timeless. They happen over and over again - save for last nights little catastrophe. I was told recently that I write well and should write a book. Preferably about all the men (if you can call them that) I've dated (or slept with). Because my friends are regularly amused by my tales and think the general public would be as well.

So, what do all my readers here think? (Do I actually have readers?) Do I have the writing chops to write a book? And if yes, what should it be about?

Email me! thatgirlallison08@gmal.com