... even myself sometimes! It's something that I'm trying to break free of. Some of the rules I'm thinking of are to "never call a guy first," or "call him back at least 3 days later," or "never kiss on a first date," or "never appear to available," or "wait at least 10 dates before sleeping with him!" ... the list never ends!
I've believed and tried to follow some of these rules while dating in the city - but I honestly think it's all a load of bullshit. I think that trying to appear "unavailable" or waiting at least 3 days to call a guy [back] is just playing games. And I don't think it's any good way to get to know someone. If you like someone and you want to see them or talk to them, THEN CALL THEM!!! Take a chance and ask them out first. The other person may be impressed with your forthrightness.
If you have no intention of getting to know the person, then sure, play with their head, fuck them, and then never think about them again. It's not a very nice thing to do though - ladies, if all you want is sex from them, I would tell them straight up. Most guys, especially in Manhattan, will never turn down a girl who says, "I want to sleep with you, so how 'bout it?" Women, though, are taught to be coy and suppress their feelings, so of course, we aren't supposed to say anything like that.
Next myth: "If a guy really likes you, he'll wait to sleep with you."
Now I think this is very much true. If a guy really does care about you and your wishes as a person, he will wait - probably as long as you try to hold out for. But if you want it too, why make him (and yourself) wait?
The other side of the coin is that if you "give it up" too easily, they'll lose interest right away, think you're a whore, you're easy, a slut, etc. I've slept with a couple of guys right away - one I'm still seeing right now (and he's totally cool and respects me) and the other one or two didn't work out, but we at least listened to our instincts, played it safe, and did what felt natural to us.
It just brings about a lot of tension when you're both preoccupied with the "what is it okay to do on the (insert # date here) date?!" and not enjoying each others company and getting to know one another instead.
If you feel the connection and the chemistry - I say to go for it. I've never regretted it yet.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I've never regretted following my gut either. And it's funny, the girls I know that follow the rules are either:
a) stuck in a behavioral rut
b) really unhappy
Good players throw out the rules. ;]
thanks for commenting... it's good to know i'm not the only one out there. So far I've received only nasty comments [that I've deleted] on here, so this is quite nice!
I know this journal seems pretty shallow right now, but I'm only just beginning. Thanks for "following"!
Post a Comment